Dreamers Heart

Dreamers heart

What is a dream, could it be a dream? This haunting echo? Could this memory of happiness be nothing nothing more then a nights shadow? The happiness of the moment only lasted for a few breaths. It seemed so real this hope. To have a family whole and safe, to believe in loving warmth and the ideal life. it seemed so real, but the best dreams are. It seemed to be the only thing keeping me alive this hope....

Although while I stirred and awoke a blanket of fear came to greet me, Always there, always whispering.

He wouldn't be there, not by my side, not with me, very much not real. As I searched the darkness for a stranger that promised so much seemed to choked me in a crushing blow of fear. My soul struggled against the silken wires holding me imprisoned. I panicked.

All the fowl memories of the past came rising up like a flood, I knew I would drown.

I knew this man, I knew him well, he would be the prince in the abyss who kept me safe. I knew somewhere in my subconscious he wasnt real. But I was so desperate to this soul that I believed in him. Without this shadow I felt weak, scared, worthless, alone. I was terrified by such a simple thing as a dream.

The pain came in waves, tightening around my chest like a constrictor, as I wait in vain at times my mind will drift back and remember it so clearly. They were like memories, something that felt so real. yet so far out of reach.

The memories blend with reality and I've watched from afar as i become confused and unknowing. My memory seems to weaken and fade. not knowing where to go, where to turn to, what to say was the beginnings of insanity.

What can I do? I have forgotten, Please wake up, this endless nightmare, I cant escape, Cant out run, and a question comes from the mist "Why can't I? This place seems so real this personal hell of mine. can this be so? Just a nightmare I can not escape?

I want to live here, it calls to me, it's so familiar, what is this endless pain? This endless void that seduces me? Could it be nothing more then a glass mirror to which ive become entranced by my own reflection with? 

I am dead, but not dead, I am death for the dying self, forsaken and alone, I am alive but not part of the living, then like a ocean wave I'm crushed with the reality.......I Am the dream. 

The End

Beautiful Envy

 "Beautiful Envy, Is something that most people; Including myself seem to underestimate at times. Many (If not all) people Have this Emotionally Sinful quality about them without ever realizing that it's a dark shadow that watches EVERYTHING. The way People present themselves, Confidence in him/her self as an individual; or others as they Broadcast it to the Population around them."

For Example: Wearing a Shirt that shows a lot of skin (but nothing unappropriated; no showing of boobs or nipples [hence the bra underneath] (basically a tube-top with a bra underneath and loose dress pants.) Wearing this why you live with your niece who is now dating your Ex can be quite problematic. Let me break it down.

{Boyfriend Stays the night every night for the past three weeks.}

[It is 90 Degree's out and sweltering.]

{Girl in the clothes Has to do Chores; dishes (gets shirt wet.), Mopping (wet in positions that are...suggestive), And has a great body shape.}

[The house is a mess and in desperate need of cleaning,]

{Girl Cleans house all day with out a word, No one comments}

{Girl Fixes Dinner also and sits down with family}

[Finally Niece Comments on Appeal of Dress]

{Niece says: "She does not Appreciate Girl wearing Revealing and Sluttish clothing around her boyfriend." and that Said boyfriend "does not Appreciate it either.}

[Yet boyfriend (Her Ex) says absolutely nothing, just tries to avoid the lustful look in his eyes]

[Niece and girl Argues]

[Family has to get involved then they all get in a fight] 

{[ After awhile the subject of dress is no longer impotaint]}

[Everyone is pissed/upset now.]

{boy ends up asking to going home.}

{Girl has no problem with that, Niece does}

[Boy goes home]

[Later that night Niece finds out that boyfriend is was with the girl her Ex before he Dated the Niece.]

{Now Neice is pissed, hurt, and seething}

[Girl Goes in her room and laughs her ass off]

                               
the issue here is that The Niece had in issue with the fact that her Aunt was wearing revealing clothing (that in perspective really wasn't bad. Yet was kinda minatory since it was so hot outside.) But got jealous and insecure. Envy sets in and she has to start a whole confrontation that would never of happened if the boyfriend hadn't commented or got involved. Yet even if he hadn't girl could have talked to her calmly with out trying to hurt and get under her Aunts skin because of her own insecurity's.

Girl also understands the point to which her Niece is making but doesn't really see the problem in all this since said boyfriend and Ex has seen everything she has anyways.

Unless the Guy in Question still has feelings for her.......


Girl laughs because this whole situation is fucked up and has only Envy to blame. Envy in which controls all within the dark heart's of others........



                                      THE END.